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I made the mistake of sitting through England's match last night in the World Cup, they are so useless!! Rooney was a joke along with the rest of the team!! It makes you think why they are the most highly paid in the world, maybe its just their gigantic egos getting in the way!
What you think?

Ye definitely. They can't really play together as a team. I was thinking that it couldl be because they play against each other every week in the premiership as enemies, then all of a sudden they're forced together for a few weeks and expected to perform. Aside from the fact, of course, that they're all shagging each others girlfriends and wives!! :p

They managed to get through to the next round at least. Which is more than can be said for France, who have way bigger problems than England!

Ye the match yesterday they kind of played like a team but I still think Rooney is a useless yoke!! France's problem is that they fail to recognise that it's a TEAM sport they're playing and they are only out for themselves, they're treated like royalty in their own leagues and think they should be playing every game!! I think it'll be South Americas year, Argentina are playing really well, I think I just want to see more of Maradona's hilarious reactions to everything!

lol they're english so they're good by default

Well if Argentina win, Maradona said he'll run naked through the streets of Buenes Aires!! Not something anybody wants to see!!

and Kate, its that attitude that makes them underperform. The reason they did shit this year was coz of the level of expectation! They barely got through their so called "E.A.S.Y." group, and even got boo'd by their own fans. That doesnt exactly inspire you, as a player, to play better.

In saying that though, they're through to the next round against the Germans. They'll most likely lose, but they'll play better in that game than any other game previously. If, on the off chance, they do beat Germany then I reckon they'll go far!

– David Blaine is reportedly furious after England crashed
out of the World Cup – his record of doing absolutely nothing in
a box for 42 days was broken by Wayne Rooney.

– The England team visited an orphanage in Cape Town today.
“It’s heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope,”
said Jamal, aged six.

– I hear Oxo are making a new product. The packaging is
white with a red cross and they're calling it the laughing stock.

– What’s the difference between the England team and a tea
bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

– Fabio Capello was wheeling his shopping trolley across the
supermarket car park when he noticed an old lady struggling with
her bags of shopping. He stopped and asked, “Can you manage
dear?” To which the old lady replied: “No way. You got yourself
into this mess. Don’t ask me to sort it out!”

– What do you call an Englishman in the knockout stages of
the World Cup? A referee.

– Apparently that fan had no trouble slipping into the
England dressing room – Robert Green was guarding the door.

– I can’t believe we only managed a draw against a rubbish
team we should easily have beaten. . . . I’m ashamed to call
myself Algerian.

– What does the Englishman do when England wins the World
Cup? He switches off the Play Station.
– What’s the difference between Wayne Rooney and Shrek?
Shrek can save the day.

– What’s the difference between a faulty jet engine and
Wayne Rooney? The jet engine eventually stops whining.

-just heard England are getting a new coach.......its picking them up in about half an hour.

-All future England matches are been shown on the gay adult channel. Apparently the sight of 11 arseholes being hammered for 90 minutes was far too explicit for BBC.

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In the jungle, South African jungle
Three lions sleep tonight
Cos in the morning, the early morning
They have to catch a flight

A win no way, a win no way
A win no way, a win no way
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-Think everyone needs to stop giving Emile Heskey such a hard time and remember how good he was in the green mile!!!

-If England got any worse at footballl.......they'd be french!

*****NEWS FLASH***** We are sorry to spam your Home Page to give you this important update! The Met Office have issued a severe weather warning that will undoubtedly cause airlines to close like the volcano cloud. Unfortunately, this time round, it's a lot worse! There is a shower of sh*te on it's way back from South Africa!


-Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
FIFA refused to use a video replay

-We now know why the England team are called the Three Lions. It is the name of the pub they play for.


-A man has been found in a river this morning wearing an England shirt, lacey womens knickers, fishnet stockings, suspenders, with a blow up sheep stuck to the end of his todger and a black rubber fist dildo inserted into his anus... Police have removed the shirt to save the family any embaressment...



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The Sultan of Brunei was getting a bit cheesed off as he had 6 children, all girls, and therefore had no son and heir. Imagine his joy then, when one of his wives presented him with his only son and heir.

Just before his son's sixth birthday, the Sultan took him to one side and said, "Son, I am very proud of you. Anything you want, I shall get for you". His son replied, "Daddy, I would like an aeroplane".

Not wanting to do anything by halves, his father bought him British Airways. Just before his son's seventh birthday, the Sultan took him to one side.

"Son, you are my pride and joy. Anything you want, I shall get for you." His son replied, "Daddy, I would like a boat".

Not wanting to do anything by halves, his father bought him P&O Ferries. Just before his son's eight birthday, the Sultan took him to one side. "Son, you bring so much happiness into my life. Anything you want, shall get for you." His son replied, "Daddy, I would like something to watch films on".

Not wanting to do anything by halves, his father bought him MGM Studios and their cinemas, where he watched all his favourite Western Movies. Just before his son's ninth birthday, the Sultan took him to one side. "Son, you are an inspiration to us all. Anything you want, I shall get for you."

His son, who had caught the 'Western' movie bug, replied, "Daddy, I would like a cowboy outfit". Not wanting to do anything by halves, his father went and bought him the England football team.
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-News Flash: Huge spike in sales of pink fairy tutus at Glastonbury Festival by blokes too embarrassed to wear their England shirt


-I’m shocked at Wayne Rooney’s outburst after the Algeria game. Who knew he could even string a sentence together!



-Missing persons report. Have you seen Wayne Rooney, description: lazy fat c*nt. Went missing in southern Africa 2 weeks ago.


-What’s the difference between England and Football.
England’s coming home.



-Rob Green - the only man in history to goto South Africa and not catch something!



-The England plane home has been diverted to Glasgow, so the team can arrive to a heroes welcome.

-the England team will make history today, they will be the first white men to land in england and be told to fcuk off back to africa.

-Durex have brought out a world cup commemorative condom. its called the rob green. they are extra slippery and guarantee you'll catch f all.

I think this should become a new smiley on here: